Why You Need To Stop Saying "I'm Sorry" So Much

Back in December, I went to a conference with a lot of powerful women presenting their thoughts and experiences within the workplace. I noticed a common trend between all their advice was how they use the phrase, "I'm sorry."

As an avid people-pleaser with a little touch of way too much Midwest nice, just about every other sentence starts or ends with an apology, and I never paid too much attention to how I was using this word intentionally, until these conversations at the conference. Almost every presenter talked about how they stopped over-apologizing. And, it made me reflect on how I was using this phrase.

As a kid, think about how many times you were told to say sorry and move on? But, was saying sorry band-aiding the situation or even warranted at all? It has become such second nature to us to use this phrase and others that are similar. Just in the past 24 hours, think about how many times you used phrases like, "I might be wrong," "I'm not sure if that's right," "Sorry to interrupt," "Sorry, I..."

In meetings, in real-life conversations, in emails, in texts. These phrases pop up in our conversations all the time. And it severely diminishes what we are talking about, and this is why we need to stop over-apologizing.

Stop Over-Apologizing

So, starting now we are changing our mindset on apologizing. Of course, there are situations where the sorry's are necessary — mistakes, faults, etc. There is a place to say sorry in this world, but there's just not a place for it in every sentence.

Start paying attention to when you use "I'm sorry" and ask yourself: Is this truly an apology-worthy moment? Or am I using it as a filler, a way to soften my words, or to make myself seem less direct?

If you’re someone who constantly finds yourself over-apologizing, challenge yourself to swap out those phrases for more confident alternatives.

"Sorry to interrupt" → "Excuse me, I have something to add."

"I might be wrong" → "Here’s my perspective"

"Sorry, but I..." → Start with your thought.

Small shifts in the terms and phrases you're using can have a powerful impact on how you perceive yourself and how others perceive you. You aren't being bossy, you aren't being rude. You don't have to apologize for sharing your thoughts, ideas, and perspectives because your insights matter. You aren't a nuance to a conversation, so you don't have anything to apologize for!

Cutting out "sorry" IS self-care. Treat yourself and cut out those extra apologies!